I thought that sex was a gift from God. I thought that it was supposed to be this amazing experience. I am highly disappointed. The thing is that my girlfriend and I are not having sex. I’m going to be open and honest with you. I want to have sex. We want to have sex with each other. But sex is only great if it’s done the way God intends, and that’s in a covenant of marriage.

You may be thinking…why is he telling me this? My initial reaction is that most people are thinking it…so why not talk about it? One thing that is guaranteed to make your relationship more difficult is when you don’t talk about the tough topics. If you keep them on the down low in your relationship, it will be hard to tell what both people think about the subject. My philosophy in dating has always been to talk about EVERYTHING within the first month of dating. This gets things out in the open and no one is wondering what about this…or wondering about that. Whether it be sex, drinking, favorite hobbies, etc.

Something that is prevalent in the Christian culture in America is that most couples say they believe in Jesus are also having sex, and what is more dangerous is that most Christians are not telling anyone about it. The mindset is that we can have sex because it feels good, and we make sure no one knows about it. We sit in church worship services singing Hillsong with our hands lifted high and then go Netflix and Chill back at the apartment or in our dorm room with the same hands in places they shouldn’t be.

“Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-3

The Bible is really clear about sex if you’re not married. You may be asking the question, “What if I have already had sex or I am currently having sex before marriage? Will God still accept me?”

The answer is yes. God still accepts you and he loves you more than the mistakes that you’ve made. Jesus living, dying, and rising from the dead solidifies your acceptance with God. Your past does not define you. Following God’s purpose for our life is difficult. It’s extremely tough to not have sex especially if you’re attracted to another person, but it is possible.


Davey Hatcher

I'm a Christian, son, brother to an awesome sister, avid church attender, student ministries volunteer, daily drinker of coffee with only a dash of cream, and I enjoy bowling for fun. I love helping people focus on Jesus.

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